When Hunter was three we were undergoing construction in our home by transforming the attic space into a master bed/bath/walk in closet suite. Because the sides of the ceiling were so low and the house lacked storage space, we incorporated built ins that served as shelving and additional storage. After we finished the space Hunter climbed into one of the "cubby holes" (as I called them). From that cubby hole he announced that God was NOT done with his mama yet, she was going to have another baby one day. It was cute seeing his little self proudly proclaiming that he would have another sibling one day, but sad at the same time as we were not able to have anymore children due to my recently discovered heart condition(s). For another 6 years he remained an only child.............until one day God answered his claim.
The second pregnancy was a complete shock. How big of a shock you may ask? So big that I took 6 home pregnancy tests within a 3 hour period, each one showing positive but I still couldn't quite believe it. Medically there was no way I could have gotten pregnant (or so we thought). For 9 years we believed we would only have Hunter so this new baby was an absolute miracle baby. With this pregnancy I was determined that I was carrying a boy. I had come to the point of acceptance that I would not have my Madison Hope, rather be filled with a house full of boys. Truth be known I was okay with that. Hunter absolutely changed my world and I had fallen in love with being the mother of such a precious, sweet boy. The thought of having another one just like him filled my heart with so much happiness. Within a few weeks of finding out we were pregnant we had come up with our second boy's name........Fisher Hayden Clark. Hunter.....Fisher.............I'm sure you get the drift here.....
Because of my heart disease I had to see the high risk doctors on a biweekly basis throughout the second pregnancy. At the first visit I was told that the odds of me surviving the pregnancy were not great considering the severity of my heart condition. I was strongly encouraged to go ahead and abort the pregnancy and have my tubes tied immediately. Obviously this didn't go well with me. My response to that doctor was "God didn't put this baby inside me just to turn around and take it away. I WILL NOT abort". Since I was set on following through with the pregnancy they put the conditions in place that they could take the baby at any point they felt it was necessary (health wise for me, no matter how early it may be), I had to have a c-section with a cardiac staff on hand and I had to have my tubes tied right after delivery. I agreed to their terms and we continued on with regular monitoring of the pregnancy every three weeks (complete with ultrasound). Around thirteen weeks the ultrasound showed the gender of the baby. What was it, you may ask? Of course the exact OPPOSITE of what my instinct was saying. Initial shock immediately led to pure joy for we were getting our Madison Hope.
The year of this pregnancy was a year of many life changes. During the pregnancy I did have issues related to my heart. Six months into the pregnancy my mother passed away. She was extremely attached to Hunter and from the day he was born she stayed on me about having a Madison Hope........by the grace of God my mother was able to live long enough to know that Madison Hope was indeed coming into this world. The last picture of my mother and I together was at a funeral of a new born who had passed hours after birth (my cousin bravely and faithfully carried out a pregnancy that she too was encouraged to give up all Hope and abort. I do not believe I've ever seen a more beautiful walk of Faith, she is an amazing woman with an amazing story). Outside the funeral home my mother and I stood face to face, both looking down at her hand laid upon my stomach as she spoke to her precious Madison Hope. We were not aware that my Uncle Harold was standing not too far away and he captured that moment on camera (I did not even know the photo existed until after mom had died).......the one and ONLY moment that Sunshine was able to feel Madison move and react to her voice as she told her she loved her.
At the end of the pregnancy the doctors gave me the option of delivering Madison on Halloween or wait until the next day. Mom's birthday as well as mine are in November so it seemed important that Madison also share our birthday month with us. It surprised me that the doctor would come in on a Saturday in which he was not on all just to deliver her, but I was so thankful that he gave us this option.
The night before she was born we went to my brother's house and trick or treated. Lance had to work through the night so Dad, Kayle, Jenna and Hunter all went with me. We did our yearly traditional thing of watching old scary movies, snacking and Blake driving the kids around on a trailer to trick or treat. This particular night was very heartwarming. We were able to enjoy each other as a family and share in the excitement of the arrival of the newest addition to our family. As we were leaving I fell down their driveway popping my ankle and landing on my stomach. It definitely gave us a scare but Madison seemed to be doing her normal thing and I didn't have any cramps or issues following the fall. The only hindrance was a seriously twisted ankle that I couldn't walk on. Dad helped me up the stairs to my bedroom, tucked me in and went to lay on the couch as Hunter, Kayle and Jenna all went to sleep. Early the next morning they wheeled me into the hospital......it was FINALLY time to meet Madison Hope!
Through the midst of the serious high they had me on (morphine.....most likely my first time having it) I remember bits and pieces of the moments leading up to and following the birth. I remember Dad joking with the doctor, Lance sitting at my head talking to me......I could hear my dad yell "Jennifer, it's a BOY" followed by the doctors quick but firm "NO IT'S NOT!". I remember them bringing Madison over for me to turn my head and look upon her beautiful face for the first time. She was pulled away and I heard them call out weight and length followed by observations of her outward appearance and overall health. I remember Hunter speaking to Madison for the first time and her turning her head to look at him.....she recognized her brother's voice.
As they wheeled me down the hallway I saw Hunter and Kayle standing at the window of the nursery. Both stood with their faces up against the glass, eyes fixed on the beautiful little creature laying in front of them........I could see in that moment just how much Hunter loved his baby sister. I look back now and see how Hunter at the tender age of 3 predicted Madison's arrival. Somehow he KNEW and in that moment I believe he was seeing God's answer to a prayer he had long ago.....and by the smile on his face you could tell he was cherishing that moment. For almost seven years Hunter was able to live and love his sister. Now with him gone I can see pieces of him within Madison (as well as my mother and brother). She adored him just as much as he adored her and she soaked up every ounce of goodness she could get from him. My hope is that she will never forget her brother or the love he had for her. I hope that she will look at his legacy and be inspired to follow her dreams. My fear is that one day she will loose those memories, but in my heart I know their bond was too strong for anything to dull it's memory.
The day Madison was born it seemed as if God brought the Sunshine back into our lives. She is a child so full of joy that her laughter alone can make even the hardest of hearts smile. She has an imagination that knows no bounds and can keep one entertained for hours (literally, she will talk for hours if you let her). Her heart radiates a tremendous amount of love and she never meets a stranger. With each day she grows by leaps and bounds and I believe with all my heart that she has the ability to accomplish ANYTHING she sets her mind to.
Happy Birthday my sweet Madison Hope. You have my heart and are a huge inspiration behind my daily walk. Because of you I want to continue to pursue my own dreams.....after all, how can I expect you to believe in your dreams if I'm too scared to believe in my own? This one little statement is one I will repeat to you throughout your life, "You is smart, you is beautiful, you IS important". I am so blessed to be able to watch you grow, and I will cherish each and every moment I have with you......
