Sometimes it takes one to save one......

A couple of weeks ago I took my niece, Jenna, to have a screening done on her heart.  She has never been symptomatic, however, anyone in my bloodline really needs to be checked every two years (whether symptoms show or not).  With the amount of sudden cardiac deaths in our family being so high, we can never be too careful, right? Ultimately Jenna's tests all came back normal and she has a healthy heart.....yearly testing is to continue as a prevention.

I had been having Hunter screened for the past several years.  He did display symptoms of passing out, light headed/dizziness and shortness of breath, but with each screening his tests came back normal.  It was speculated the fainting spells were from him going through puberty, though it was never proven one way or another.  When Hunter died we didn't know what could have happened.  My gut told me it had to do with his heart, however, I always expected it to be the family inherited disease and not a rare viral infection that would take him.  

The cardiologist I took Jenna to happened to be the same cardiologist that monitored Hunter's heart.  He and I had spoken on several occasions, often discussing the possibility of genetic testing and preventative measures we could take for the kids as they grew older.  When Dr. Johnson walked into the room he looked at me and said "I know you".....he looked from me to Jenna then back to me again as he repeated "I know you" with a confused look on his face.  I responded with "You treated my son for several years, he passed away in June" and he interrupted saying "Hunter Clark.......".

The moment he uttered Hunter's name his eyes filled with tears.  "When I first received the call from the medical examiner my knees hit the floor.  All I could do was kneel there and weep.  You have to know that every second of every day you and your family are in my prayers", he said with a trembling voice.  "You have to know that without a shadow of a doubt there is NOTHING you could have done to save Hunter, and for that I'm so very sorry."  For the first part of conversation he stressed how there was nothing we as parents, or even him as a doctor, could have done to save Hunter.  He spent the days following the call reading up on the type of myocarditis Hunter had because prior to him, they had never seen or picked up on a pediatric case.  Typically this type of myocarditis affected adults, not the young.  Because of Hunter they have now picked up on two more pediatric cases and have been able to provide treatment........according to Dr. Johnson, because of Hunter two more lives have been saved (and potentially countless others now that they are aware of what to look for).  

The news was bittersweet.....it means so much that Hunter's death is STILL making good, REALLY good things happen, that lives are being saved........but the human side of me still says "Why did it have to take my son?".  Not that I would wish this pain on anyone else, not even my worst enemy......but did it still have to take my son?  I'm not sure how I will ever recover from loosing such a vital part of me, a HUGE portion of my soul missing.  I'm not sure anything will ever fill that void........but even almost four months later we are still seeing lives impacted, lives saved and forever changed because of our sweet boy.  It's those miracles that soothe the deep ache inside, it's those miracles that continue to inspire me to keep telling his story.......shine on, Hunter, shine on......