His Final Resting Place

I've never been a fan of cemetery's or funeral homes.  Over the past few years we have said goodbye to both my mother and brother, each buried in a special place, but neither of which I could get myself to visit often.  When Hunter passed away that fear turned into a longing, a need to visit as much and often as I possibly could.

We were completely unprepared for the expense of burying our child.  It's just not the natural order of things for a parent to bury their child before themselves, so as you can imagine we had nothing.  The night he died we returned home in the late hours.  Upon arriving my sweet Aunt Vicky and adopted mother, Tammy, were there to greet us.  That evening Aunt Vicky made an offer to us that we couldn't refuse.  We did not have a burial site picked out, and honestly had no clue where we would be sending Hunter, so her offer to sign over one of the family plots in Hamilton Memorial Gardens to us for Hunter was one we accepted with a grateful heart.  My grandfather (Robert) and great grandmother (Nanny) were buried in two of the four plots, leaving two empty for family use.  Mimi, my aunt Sharon and my mother were all cremated and buried in a cemetery close to their childhood home so that left two of the plots unoccupied.   Just down the hill from them lies my other grandparents, Rose and Mote Dotson.  It was a blessing to be given this gift, however, the fact that Hunter would be surrounded by family in such a beautiful setting made us feel even more blessed

  I remember walking to view the plot the day Aunt Vicky signed it over to us and feeling my breath being taken away by the sheer beauty of what surrounded him.  Nestled on the top of a hill just below a large "G" monument with his head facing the Eastern Sky our sweet boy was laid to rest.  For the first two months I visited him daily.  I felt almost like that mother dog who lost one of her pups, not knowing exactly what to do.....so rather than trying to figure it out I went where my heart was telling me to go.  The first few visits seemed surreal, as if expecting him to not really be in that grave. 

  
 
A second blessing came to us in the form of a go fund account set up by family to help with funeral expenses.  For the first 8 weeks his grave went unmarked, but thanks to the fund account we were able to purchase a stunningly beautiful grave marker, complete with his beloved Bible and Saxophone images.  We were also able to put a special quote on there that seemed most fitting for Hunter "I loved as You loved us", as he loved each and every person he came into contact with with no judgement or condemnation.  Hunter truly had the heart of a saint, and in the days following his death we were able to see just how far he spread his love.  Even now, several months later, we are still seeing the impact his love had on countless souls.

Not long after he was buried his stepmother, Tara, arranged for two North American Kestrel's to be released at his grave site.  We stood in awe as we watched the beautiful creatures spread their wings and fly, and for a moment I felt as if we were watching Hunter take his final flight.  I had never experienced something like that before and am so thankful Tara included us in this moment. 

North American Kestrel Release

 

 

 

When my soul is unsettled, when the emotions are spiraling out of control, I come to this place and sit on Hunter's baby blanket.  Sometimes I sit in silence, sometimes I let the music play.  Sometimes I write and sometimes I pray. Sometimes I lay next to him and sometimes I simply weep.  The place I once feared the most suddenly a place where I find comfort and peace.  This is my quiet place, a place to seek refuge, and I will be forever grateful for both Aunt Vicky and countless others who made donations......if it weren't for you guys, our sweet boy wouldn't have received the burial he deserved, and we wouldn't have such a beautiful and peaceful place to visit and find our own peace.  Thank you for making this possible.