How We Were Able To Bury Our Son

There are not many parents I know that are prepared and already have plans in place to bury their child should the need ever arise.  99% of the time it's the other way around, parents have prearranged things so that when they pass their children are able to bury them with little to no expense, no planning and no worry.  In the case of Hunter, the thought had never crossed our minds that one day we would find ourselves gathered in the parlor of the funeral home looking at caskets and picking out flowers which would adorn our sweet boy.  I shared the story of how the burial plot came around (thanks our sweet Aunt Vicky), but the story does not stop there......

Hunter's body was kept for an autopsy so it was a couple of days after he died before we had to face the funeral arrangements.  During this time the decision of what Hunter would wear was quickly offered.  The day after Lance received a call from Hunter's band director who offered to donate Hunter's band uniform for him to be buried in.   As soon as Lance told me I felt peace, as if knowing this was the perfect outfit for our sweet boy.  It touched me to no end that his school cared that much for him.  Hunter would want to go out supporting his beloved "Bradley Bears" even to the very end, and their more than generous donation allowed us to bury our son in true Hunter style. 

Two days after Hunter died I met with Daniel, Lance and his family and my Dad to discuss funeral arrangements.  There were so many of us that we had to bring in extra chairs.  We sat down with the funeral director (Ralph) who began to guide us through the process.  We started with flowers, then a casket, announcements, obit, etc.  Throughout the process he would show us different options.  Us with our budget friendly minds were looking at the cheaper options but he kept guiding us back to the nicer versions, all the while saying "don't worry about the price, that doesn't matter right now".  We also explored options of having flowers, etc., done outside the funeral home to help with cost, but again, he quickly helped us decide on what would be the perfect choice and it would be ordered through the funeral home.  Once all arrangements were decided upon I turned and asked Ralph how we would go about paying for this.  Through payments?  I knew when Ralph bowed his head, cleared his throat and looked at me with teary eyes that something was going on.  His next words left our large crowd speechless, in total shock, before large shouts began to ring out.  With a trembling and tender voice he said "You have no cost.  We are taking care of all your expenses".  And just like that, in a split moment, we went from being worried that we would not be able to properly bury our son to being able to bury him in true Hunter style without any financial burdens.  Though we thanked Ralph and his team at Hamilton Funeral Home & Cremation Services (on Hixson Pike in the old Golden Corral building) continuously, I don't believe they realized the profound impact they had on our family.  I don't believe they realized how touched and absolutely blessed we felt or the peace we had as we moved through the actual days of visitation and burial.  They may never know how much this meant to us, but I will forever sing their praises.  

The church in which we held Hunter's funeral happened to be a church Hunter spent many years of his childhood in.  It was the church his dad and I met and got married, and the church his beloved Grandmama and Pappa Daddy attended for majority of their lives.  It was a church Hunter was very familiar with (he attended many a baby parades and was dedicated to the church), and one he loved and appreciated for the role it played in his life.  The pastor, Dwight Martin, is the uncle of my niece and nephew (my babies) so from the church to the pastor we have a long history and friendship with all who attend.  If it weren't for the kindness of Calvary Baptist Church in Red Bank, we would not have had the perfect atmosphere in which to say our final goodbyes.  Calvary even went a step further and hosted a dinner for the family after the graveside service was completed.  I will forever hold a special place in my heart for Calvary and it's congregation, they truly went above and beyond for us and I could never thank them enough.

The only expense we had left were the opening and closing of the grave and his grave marker.  Someone set up a Go Fund account which raised enough money to cover the remaining expenses.......

From the beginning of this process God was absolutely, 100% in control.  He soon calmed our fears by placing a few "miracle workers" in our path, and through the kindness of many we were able to bury our son.  Even today I'm left speechless when I look back at all the work God has done, fully aware that He worked true miracles in our lives even in the midst of the darkness.  Though I may never understand why, I do understand (and brokenheartedly accept) that God has a bigger plan........some would say that God abandoned us or punished us by taking our child.......I have a hard time seeing it that way.  Yes, loosing Hunter was tragic, undoubtedly the worst thing I've ever had to face, but through this tragedy God revealed Himself to us, He showed us His mercy, goodness and grace. Through this process we can see the abundance of miracles He performed, and our hearts will be forever grateful.....

On behalf of the family, thank you to ALL who played a role in this......we will never be able to repay your kindness, but we will never fail to express our gratitude.